To Change or not to Change.. Is that the Question?

One of the most feared and at the same time most revered words in the English dictionary. Dealing with inevitable change can be perceived as a strength, a weakness, an opportunity or even a threat.

“I pray to God for the Strength to change that which I can, the ability to accept that which I cannot, and (thirdly and probably most importantly), the capacity to tell the difference.”
These simple words, whose essence if well understood and whose significance once internalized can, I dare say, lead one a tad closer to that ultimate aim in life which despite being nearly impossible to achieve, is aspired to by the multitudes – Happiness. And I speak not of its momentary variant that so often misleads us into believing that we have reached our much sought after purpose, but what I speak of is its sustainable variant which we toil and bleed to achieve but which so seldom comes to hand.

Reaction to change differs from person to person. This occurs at an unconscious level but manifests itself in two principle ways. If the change is of an adverse nature, one way it is dealt with is to accept the changed situation or person and maintain a status quo internally i.e. to let things take their course and attempt to remain unaffected by them.
The other way is to react to this change and attempt to gain dominance over it i.e. to not accept adverse change but to fight it.

“The end justifies the means.”
These two opposite reactions to change are in fact different means to deal with the same perceived problem with a view to reach the same envisaged end i.e. sustainable happiness.

“The chief source of unhappiness in this entire world is in fact the pursuit of happiness itself.”
These prophetic words in effect turn the whole argument on its head. It claims that by striving for, what is essentially a near impossible goal; we in fact make ourselves miserable.
Thus what we must, by inference, really do is focus on the means by which we traverse our path through life, constantly moving towards our ultimate objective i.e. ensuring that the journey is never sacrificed at the altar of the destination.
A difficult task indeed.


“A good traveller is never intent on arriving” – Lao Tsu
This statement was originally written in the literal context of a traveller’s voyage. When applied to the larger entity of the journey of life, it reiterates that to have a life of satisfaction one must not constantly yearn for the ultimate goal set out, but must extract joy from every opportunity available along the way. Even if there is a danger of delay in arriving at the destination, it postulates that this will be well worth the wait.


Thus, if one then begins to accept that the achievement of a goal is truly subservient to the process of achieving that goal, then the original argument whose contention was that - one must avoid attempting to change that which we, though our cognitive faculty, believe cannot be changed, begins to falter. Because we have began to accept that it is in this inevitably futile attempt, doomed to probable failure that the key to happiness actually lays.


“Many times we are powerless to prevent great evil, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest” –Elie Wiesel
Often there is full knowledge that the actions we are undertaking or about to undertake will almost certainly never end in fruition, yet we go ahead with unhindered passion, with an urge to see the task through to its conclusion no matter what the odds and impending consequences.


“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”
A simple argument that is a possible explanation to the preceding phenomenon. Hope. It is in this most irrational yet enduring of human traits that one finds some explanation to the seemingly inexplicable intricacies of the functioning of the human mind. Hope has the ability to drive a man to attempt to achieve the impossible; subsequently, it can provide the solace by rationalising a failed venture and spurn him on to try again.


Thus the conundrum that I face in my battle against change with a view to achieve that fanciful goal of sustainable happiness, is one I am yet to get to grips with. To accept change and move on unaffected i.e. to give priority to the journey rather than the destination. The consequence of this could be to possibly miss out on a host of opportunities that life presents to me. The alternative, to fight change and attempt to mould it to my advantage. i.e. to accept the destination as taking precedence over the journey. This approach could possibly involve a substantial deal of effort with no real guarantee of a successful outcome.
Neither alternative seems very appealing so for the time being, until my dilemma is solved, I deal with change by pressing my faith in hope. Hope that tomorrow will be a better day irrespective of my actions today.